


Before And After

by BlueKhaos



Series: The Winter Soldier & African American!Reader Trilogy and Side Stories [4]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Love, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-28
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-09 10:38:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3246536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueKhaos/pseuds/BlueKhaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles (or not) about Bucky and the reader. Side fics for the Winter Soldier/African American!Reader Trilogy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Always Thinking of You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Here are the drabbles to go with the trilogy. I hope you like them.
> 
> Images below belong purely to Marvel.

 

 

_Azzano, Italy, 1940s._

The sounds of explosions shook his body to its very core. There was so much confusion. Men yelled and the sounds of bullets pierced the night air. He hoped that he and his fellow soldiers would come out alive.

Running through the open field, Bucky and the rest of his unit moved swiftly, avoiding the nearby blasts of bombs. They fired their weapons, managing to hit enemies on the other side of the field.

Seeing a trench, Bucky jumped into the hole and ducked for his life. His helmet hung crookedly on his head as he breathed heavily. He wished he could be anywhere else but here. He wished he was in your arms.

As he sat there in that muddy trench, he briefly wondered what you were doing back home in the apartment. He missed being with you and having your presence envelop his very being.

Were you out working a late shift at work? Maybe you were at home, dancing alone to the tunes of your favorite songs. Or, possibly thinking of him as you played with your necklace. It didn't matter what you were doing. Just thinking of you drowned out the screams of pain and the echoes of missiles ripping through the battlefield. 

The yelling of his comrade brought him back to reality. His blue eyes snapped up to the face of his weary friend. He needed to concentrate on the battle. There would be no point in getting himself killed and never seeing you again.

Raising his gun, Bucky fired his weapon into the darkness. He'd come back home. He had to believe he would.


	2. My Poofy-haired Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, my motivation seemed to have come back especially since school started this week. I want to work on everything else besides my school work. I already have a 3pg paper due Monday. Apparently, I have to watch Frozen, interview two kids about it, and connect it to children’s development and imaginary play. Then I have to take care of allllll the other work for three other classes. Grad school makes me want to cry. 
> 
> Anyway, this story got me all teary-eyed as I wrote it. It was so damn cute.

__

 

_Town Pub, Italy, 1940s_

The sun disappeared as darkness rolled in, but the local pub buzzed with excitement. Soldiers played poker and laughed rambunctiously as they took a swig of their drinks. Colonel Phillips decided to give Steve, Bucky, and some other soldiers a break from their duties. It was ideal since they were recently rescued by Steve from a HYDRA facility. Many men suffered, several losing their lives as they were treated like slaves by their German captors.

Bucky sat by himself at the bar, taking a small drink from his beer. Steve was talking with him earlier, but ended up turning his attentions to the lovely Peggy Carter. Bucky had to admit, Steve had certainly found himself a beautiful woman. His thoughts quickly shifted over to you.

When Steve brought him and the other prisoners back to the base, Steve was quick to mention that you were worried sick about him. Steve told him how you had stopped receiving letters from him and feared that something had happened. Bucky didn’t like to worry you, so he immediately wrote back to quell your fears.

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a picture that you had mailed to him. A smile crept upon his face as he stared longingly at the picture of you. He had taken a candid shot of you in the kitchen while you were getting ready to style your hair. He chuckled quietly, remembering every detail of that Saturday afternoon.

_Waking up from his short nap, Bucky stretched and yawned as he stood up. He wondered briefly what you were up to and decided to look for you. Walking into the kitchen area, he saw you standing in front of the stove as you hummed a song to yourself. It appeared that you had washed your hair because you had wrapped it with a scarf and tied a bow on top. Your hair was still poofy since you had not styled it yet. Sometimes, he could tell that you were a little sensitive about your hair, but regardless, he couldn’t help but think that you were gorgeous._

_Hearing Bucky come into the room, you turned around and smiled shyly at him. You always felt self-conscious about having your hair poofy in front of him. You hoped that you didn’t look horrible._

_“Hey, Bucky. I hope you had a nice nap.”_

_Bucky nodded, “Yeah, it was alright I guess. I couldn’t sleep with all that yelling outside.”_

_You laughed, “Let’s hope that doesn’t continue into the night. I have to work tomorrow.”_

_Bucky frowned slightly, seeing a small amount of smoke rising from behind you. It didn’t seem like you were cooking any food._

_“Um, Y/N? What are you doing? There’s smoke coming from the stove.”_

_Your eyes widened slightly, forgetting that you were waiting on the metal comb. You turned around and lowered the flame on the stove as you picked up the heated item. Bucky walked around the island to see what you were doing._

_“Is that a comb?” Bucky asked confusedly._

_You smiled, “Yes it is. It’s how I straighten and curl my hair.”_

_Now fascinated with the metal hot comb and how it was used to style your hair, he began to ask more questions._

_“Does it hurt?”_

_Blowing on the comb, you stopped to giggle at his innocent question._

_“No, you silly cat. You only comb it through your hair and you have to make sure it doesn’t touch the scalp.”_

_“But wouldn’t it singe your hair?”_

_“Only if you don’t cool it down first.” You started to wave the comb back and forth, mindful of Bucky next to you. “It’s not as bad as it looks. You just have to be careful.”_

_An idea suddenly popped up into his head and a smile grew on his face. He wanted to have something to remember this moment by. Telling you that he’d be right back, Bucky quickly left the kitchen and went into his room._

_You raised an eyebrow at his weird behavior, but continued to wave the comb gently back and forth. Thinking of how you wanted to style your hair for work, you were caught off guard when you heard a click. You looked up and gasped in horror when you saw Bucky with a camera in his hands. You placed the comb back on the stove and ran over to Bucky to grab the camera from him. He responded by lifting it out of your reach._

_“Bucky, I look horrible! Why’d you take a picture of me?” you whined._

_Strangely enough, Bucky wasn’t laughing at you, but simply smiled._

_“Because I thought you looked beautiful.”_

_You felt your face grow warm and you stopped reaching for the camera._

_“But my hair…”_

_“It’s fine. Don’t ever think otherwise.”_

_A million thoughts ran through your head as Bucky passed you to place the camera on the island countertop. He then turned around to face you._

_“Alright. Now lemme see how you use the comb.”_

Right now, he could only wonder how you wore your hair, but honestly, he preferred his poofy-haired baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That metal hot comb was no joke. Once, my mother singed off a small section of my hair cuz she she didn't cool it down. At least it grew back and I didn't suffer 3rd degree burns. Good times bruh.


	3. The Beginning of Our Lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes the third chapter. We are halfway there, folks!
> 
> I was also listening to some instrumental songs as I wrote this. You can listen to it if you want to as you read the chapter. It'll play from the point I set it up from. (http://youtu.be/qycqF1CWcXg?t=1h16m50s)
> 
> Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/here_comes_bride/set?id=168158477
> 
> *Speech in angle brackets is Russian.

 

_New York City, USA, Present Day_

You took a deep breath and looked into the mirror in front of you. You almost didn’t recognize yourself. Your long, snowy hair fell in waves over your brown shoulders and back. Your face donned soft colored make up, giving you a glowing appearance. You wore a small, silver tiara on top of your head that went perfectly with your pearl earrings and necklace. Lastly, your long, curve-hugging wedding dress pooled around your feet, hiding your silver heels.

“Is this really me?”

You never thought in a million years that you would be here, preparing for your wedding to the handsome Bucky Barnes. You both were finally going to begin your lives as husband and wife. As you sat there completely mesmerized by your appearance, Natasha, Sharon, and Maria grinned excitedly. They were ecstatic for you.

Over the past several months, you met Sharon Carter (who to your excitement, was the niece of Peggy) and Maria Hill. Both women had worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. and fought valiantly when HYDRA attacked the Triskelion. When you heard Steve was dating someone, Bucky and you nagged him to meet her. When Steve brought her to the tower, you and her quickly got along and eventually grew close. Maria on the other hand, was introduced to you by Natasha. At first, Maria was a bit wary of Bucky and you because of your past affiliations with HYDRA. Once she got to know the two of you better, you all formed a close bond.

The four of you heard a knock at the door. Maria opened the door revealing Tony’s girlfriend, Pepper, standing there.

“Alright ladies! Are you ready to begin?”

Slightly nervous, you nodded quickly. As Pepper left to finish getting things in order, you felt Natasha pat your back gently.

“Don’t worry. You got this.”

~~~~~~

You stood behind the bridal party, holding nervously onto your bouquet with one hand as you waited for the ceremony to commence. Everyone was quiet, except for your ring bearer and flower girl who were giggling. With his grandmother’s permission, Cole joined your party as your ring bearer. Ever since Cole lost his parents, you kept in touch with him. Sometimes he would come over to the tower to hang out with you, Bucky, and the rest of your friends or you would go to visit him and his grandmother. As Pepper came over to give the two children a small scolding, a deep voice spoke next to you.

“Feeling alright? It’s not like you to be nervous. I mean, you weren’t when you and your fiancé tried to assassinate me.”

You gave the one-eyed man a small pout and chuffed lowly.

“I can’t help it, Fury. I don’t know why I’m so anxious.”

Yes, you heard me. Nick Fury stood next to you with your arm wrapped around his. Since your father died decades ago, you had no one to give you away. You decided to do the unthinkable and asked Natasha to contact him and ask him if he would do you the honor. You wanted to make peace with him after Bucky and you almost succeeded in assassinating him. It took a lot of convincing on the redhead’s part, seeing that weddings weren’t Fury’s thing, but eventually he caved.

“If you can _almost_ kill a man like me, you can handle this.”

You gave him a small smile. You knew he wouldn’t be all sentimental with you, but his words brought you some comfort.

You heard the music begin to play and prepared yourself to walk out onto the large outdoor balcony. You watched your wedding party walk outside one by one until it was your turn. As you walked through the doorway, the warm summer air and the evening sunset greeted you as your guests began to stand. You looked towards either sides of the aisle, smiling shyly at your guests until your pale green eyes landed on the man who was going to be your husband.

Bucky stared at you in awe as he took in your appearance. You looked almost ethereal as you walked down the aisle gracefully. Feeling more confident, your smile grew brighter as you approached the front of the balcony where he and the priest stood. You turned around to give Fury a small, warm hug and took Bucky’s hand when he extended it to you.

At his side, stood Steve as his best man, and Sam and Tony as his groomsmen. On your side, Natasha stood as your maid of honor, and Maria and Sharon as your bridesmaids. Thor, Clint, and Bruce sat in the front row along with Pepper and Fury.

<“You look stunning, doll,”> Bucky whispered, giving your hands a small squeeze as he turned to face you.

<“You’re not too bad yourself, hun,”> you replied happily.

It had taken several decades to get to this point, but the two of you were happy knowing that you were finally going to start a life together. As long as you had each other, you knew everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo, look at all those cameo appearances. Lol!


	4. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is well! Here's the next chapter!

 

 

_Washington, D.C., Present Day_

It had been years since you last saw Peggy. You had gained back some of your memories of her, but not all. After coming back from your honeymoon with Bucky, the two of you, along with Steve and Sharon, decided to go visit the S.H.I.E.L.D founder. So, there you were, sitting in the car with your husband and two of your friends.

Honestly, you were feeling worried about the whole thing. What if your appearance frightened her? Or, what if she hated you after all you have done? As if sensing your anxiety, Bucky wrapped his metal arm around your waist and pulled you as close to him as your seatbelt would allow. You snuggled into his side, sighing contently as you closed your eyes and tried to relax your nerves.

After being on the highway for a few hours, the car pulled up to the retirement home where Peggy resided. The four of you stepped out of the vehicle and walked into the home.

There were many elderly people in the building. Some were watching television, being attended by nurses, or just talking with each other about days long gone. For moment, you forgot that you were just as old as these people, maybe even older. Would you even be alive if you actually did age?

Shaking your head, you walked as a nurse escorted your group to Peggy's room. When you arrived at the door, you were still feeling a bit hesitant.

"Sharon and I will go in first. Come in whenever you're ready," Steve said as he smiled at you.

As the two went in, you let out a heavy sigh. Bucky pulled you into a gentle hug and spoke.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. Everything will be alright."

Resting your head against his chest, you replied.

"But what if she's afraid of me? I mean, I know she's a tough person, but it’s been a long time since she saw me. I look frightening."

"Trust me, doll. You look pretty much the same. It's like your hair aged, but your face and body didn't," Bucky winked.

"Hey!" you lightly smacked his arm. "Don't be a smartass."

Bucky chuckled, "You know I love you."

You couldn't help but smirk, "Yeah, yeah. Love you too."

Bucky took your hand in his, "Let's go in. They're waiting for us."

Giving a small nod, the both of you headed into the room. You immediately laid your olive eyes upon the frail, elderly woman. For a minute, she reminded you of your mother long ago, but she wasn't here anymore. As Bucky and you moved closer to the bed, you swallowed slowly.

"Y/N, is that really you?" Peggy spoke.

You bit your lip, your emotions coming to the surface as you nodded.

"Yeah, it's me, Peggy."

The elderly woman's eyes began to water, "I thought we lost you."

Not able to contain yourself, you immediately went over to hug the elderly woman. You began to sob as you felt her return the embrace. Steve, Sharon, and Bucky could only look on as the two of you held each other.

"I'm so sorry that I put you through that. I was too weak to fight against them."

Rubbing your back soothingly, Peggy replied, "You have nothing to apologize for. HYDRA was to blame for that, but now you’re here."

"I know, but still-"

"You aren't weak, Y/N. You persevered all these years, regardless of the things HYDRA made you do. You're here now. Don't let those things continue to be obstacles. Plus, I could never be upset with my favorite secretary."

You let out a tearful laugh. Maybe this reunion wasn't so bad after all.


	5. A Dying Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty sad just to let you guys know. I also hope it doesn't seem rushed. :(
> 
> *Speech in angle brackets is Russian.

 

_Bronx, New York, Present Day_

You lay in your bed quietly as Bucky slept soundly next to you. You couldn't sleep. Thoughts plagued your mind as you stared up at the white ceiling.

You really wanted to have a family with Bucky, but your inability to have children prevented you from that happiness. Throughout the past few weeks, Tony and Bruce tried coming up with cures that would help you to become fertile again. Some had no effect, others made you puke non-stop. In the end, they weren’t able to help.

Sorrow welled up in your being as tears began to blur your vision. You rolled onto your side, facing the edge of the bed as you tried to muffle your sobs into the pillow. Your chest felt tight and your face, hot, as the pain continued to grow. You felt Bucky stirring next to you, but you couldn’t stop the tears from falling.

<“Baby…what wrong?”> Bucky asked, slightly alarmed by your behavior. He sat up and gently turned you to face him.

<“I’m so s-sorry,”> you replied.

Bucky frowned, not understanding why you were apologizing.

<“Sorry for what, hun?”>

You looked up at him, eyes red from crying, <“I want to have a family with you, but I can’t even give you a child.”>

Your husband’s features softened and he pulled you into his arms, gently rocking you. He knew how much you wanted to have children. He always noticed the longing expression you had when parents passed by with their kids.

<“Y/N, you don’t have to apologize. I love you. Always will. We can always adopt.”>

Sniffling, you spoke, <“I know. Hopefully someday.”>

~~~~~

Three days had passed since that night and you had found yourself in the hospital. Cole’s grandmother had become sick, likely due to her old age. With no one else to care for Cole, Bucky and you took care of the boy until his grandmother recovered.

Bucky had left the room not too long ago in order to bring back some food. Not wanting to leave his grandmother’s side, Cole slept in your lap as you sat next to his grandmother’s bed. You were praying for her recovery, especially for Cole’s sake. She was the only family he had left.

You were about to doze off when you heard coughing from the bed. You blinked a couple times and reached out to touch the woman’s hand, mindful of the boy in your lap.

“Y/N?”

“I’m here, Sarah,” you replied. She always insisted on you calling her by her first name. Calling her by her last always made her feel “old.”

She smiled at you and looked towards her grandson.

“How’s he holding up?”

You looked at Cole affectionately, “He’s doing alright. He just wants you to come home.”

“You know, he looks up to you like a mother.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “Huh?”

Wrapping her hand around yours, she continued to speak, “Promise me something. Take care of my grandson when I’m gone. You’ll be a wonderful mother to him and Bucky will be a great father.”

You knew how badly you wanted to have a child, but not like this. Sarah was aware of your infertility, but not what caused it. Nonetheless, it felt somewhat wrong. Seeing your look of uncertainty, Sarah tried to reassure you.

“Don’t fret, hun. I want you to be happy. I want him to be happy. Do this for a dying old woman, will ya?”

With a tight-lipped smile, you nodded and kissed the sleeping boy’s head.

You would honor Sarah’s wish and you did it well.


	6. Blissful Mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes the last chapter!

 

_New York City, USA, Present Day_

The rays of the early morning sun shone through the glass of the bedroom window. You were blissfully unaware of the world around you as you slept soundly, occasionally snoring. Sometime during the night, you had stumbled into your bedroom, not bothering to take off your tactical gear. You then collapsed unceremoniously onto your bed next to your sleeping husband. You had come home from a tedious three-day mission.   

Bucky had stayed home with Cole as well as your recently adopted son Ethan. Occasionally, the two of you went on missions with the Avengers, but always separately. You both wanted to be there for your children, so one of you would always stay behind with them.

Although Cole was seven, he understood that Bucky and you saved lives along with the rest of the Avengers. He was always prepared to help, offering to place band-aids and ice on the small cuts and bruises that Bucky and you would receive. Four-year-old Ethan, on the other hand, thought the two of you were Power Rangers. He would sometimes tell his daycare friends that you both fought big monsters and bad guys.

Well…he wasn’t exactly far off.

The scent of eggs, bacon, and pancakes wafted through the air as Bucky cooked breakfast, but it wasn’t enough to wake you up. That’s where your two boys came in. After eating their food, Bucky asked Ethan and Cole to wake you up.

He never mentioned how.

Walking quietly into the bedroom, Ethan and Cole climbed up into the bed next to you. Smirking devilishly, Cole pulled out a permanent marker and started to draw lines on your arms, connecting the rosette marks together. As you inhaled, you snored loudly, but purred once you exhaled. The noises that you emitted caused both children to giggle.

Bucky walked towards the bedroom with a tray of food. He stopped in mid walk, wondering what had his two sons in stitches. Walking into the room, Bucky’s eyes widened in shock as he saw Cole leaving designs on your skin. He was about to say something until he heard the sounds coming from you. That was when he lost it.

You began to stir and you opened your eyes slightly, your ears immediately tuning to the laughter of your husband. You shifted yourself, cat-like eyes narrowing as you peered through a curtain of snowy white hair.

“What the…what are you guys doing?” you asked with a raspy voice.

“Look at your arms, baby,” Bucky replied as he tried to compose himself.

You quickly glanced at your arms and your jaw dropped.

“Oh. My God.”

Looking up, you saw the marker in Cole’s hand. Shifting your eyes to his face, he gave you a sheepish smile.

“I love you, mommy!” Cole spoke quickly.

Your shocked expression quickly turned into a mischievous smirk. You began to tickle the young boy, causing him to laugh uncontrollably. When Ethan began to snicker at his brother, you also started to tickle him.

“You thought I forgot about you, mister? You let your big brother draw on my arms.”

Bucky shook his head, still smiling at his family’s antics. He placed the tray down on the nightstand and joined all of you in bed. You ceased your actions and gave him a big smile. He returned one of his own and pulled you in for a gentle kiss.

“Ewwww!!!”

Cole and Ethan made disgusted faces as you and your husband broke away laughing.

Life might not have been perfect for Bucky and you, but your family made it worthwhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well guys, I am officially done with the side fics that go with the trilogy. Now I can move on to new material! I can’t believe I finished the whole thing.


End file.
